In our lives, we all communicate. Since we are born, we need to communicate by any means, to seek what we need or desire. That is why I am adding so much to this topic of Why Improving Communication Skills are a must?
When a child, who can’t speak yet, needs food or milk, he cries. To express his hunger. When he wants to be in the arms of his parents, he then to gives signs, communicates, to be cradled or hugged.
Communication is the only way two people can connect with each other. I can also say, communication is the only way two people can understand each other. Verbal or non-verbal, silent or spoken, communication is happening in our lives by all means.
As communication is happening in every moment of our life, we can totally believe that why Improving Communication Skills is so important.
I must mention here, that you notice the communication happening in your head right now. We all are communicating with ourselves as well. Which is the most sensitive and most important of all communication skills. I will write another blog post about communication with ourselves.
When we wake up in the morning, we talk to ourselves. When we drive through, to our offices or drop kids to school, we communicate.
Our attitudes on signals and to passing by commuters are also means of communication.
In whichever industry you are in, hospitals, schools, organizations, hotels, airports, etc. you are communicating with so many other beings.
Do you remember any incident that happened in the recent past, where you have really observed the outcome of a good or bad communication? If yes, do share in the comment box so we all may experience the impact.
Especially in jobs, where hospitality or customer service is a key role, communication plays a high role in establishing or destroying your relationship, company’s relationship as well as brand promise.
People bargain with good communication skills, they make others feel comfortable and wish blessings. People also lose with bad communication.
Breaching, mistrust and hard feelings appear due to bad communication. Understanding comes afterwards. First is communication, starting from listening, saying and then understanding.
Sympathy to Empathy road is walked by clear, effective and meaningful communication only. We can now relate Why Improving Communication Skills has to be your first priority.
Starting from your communication with your parents, to your siblings and friends or dates, communication creates many bonds and barriers.
Asking for an appraisal or appreciation from your immediate boss, dealing with finance for clearance, or seeking support from team members to meet the project deadlines need a lot of communication skills in different styles.
Having Issues In Communication With Senior Position People
Have you ever felt fearful or doubtful to talk to senior position people?
That is because in your subconscious mind you believe that they are more, intelligent, they know more and they have more power over you.
We believe that when we lack knowledge, experience, or expertise in a subject matter. To overcome that fear, or hesitation, you need to work on these three.
Before meeting any senior person, you should be very clear about your objective, your agenda and enhance your knowledge about the subject.
Practice beforehand about what you would say, which stories will you share, what knowledge you might bring in, to create bridges among you two. That is Why Improving Communication Skills helps you to connect.
Unless, depending on the mood of the senior position person, nothing may go wrong if you are well prepared in that meeting. Even though understanding another person’s mood, and then maneuvering it in your favor, is also an art and science of good communication skills.
Our perception of others totally reflects our experiences and understanding. It might not have accuracy in reality. How high we think or judge others, is not exactly the case. Have you been inspired by someone, or can I say, did you fall in a crush kind of a feeling?
You see brightness around that person, quality and essence emitting from the soul and everything s/he does, seems illuminated. After some time when you know that person, all these sparkles are eliminated. Things start becoming normal. You get an idea, how high you were thinking of a person, but s/he is just like normal as you are.
This happens most often with positive vibe people who think good about everyone and expect good from everyone. It has nothing wrong. The only point I am making here, that having issues in communicating with those, whom we think are too high in status, stature or wealth, are mere our own perception. Covered by our own ideas and connections.
If we know, have confidence, eager to seek our own approval of ourselves, our attitude and courage would be on another level. The connection will be better and we know Why Improving Communication Skills help us every where.
Non judgement and not being biased helps a lot in removing such barriers. Turn all your focus on yourself. Bring your central focus and attention to your core. Rest of the world will have less importance to you as compared to your own self. It is not about being or becoming self-fish.
It is about respecting yourself first and respecting others too. In a frame of limits. With equally high remarks about yourself. And you may always work on yourself to bring more grace and excellence.
If we create an understanding that people develop themselves professionally in different industries. Like, engineering, medicine, veteran, business management, hospitality, law, and so on and so forth, we will agree that all professionals in such fields are equally respectable as well as achievers in their respective fields.
The only thing which will make them more known, appreciated, or acknowledged is their overall Attitude.
So in each of the attributes, communication will remain a key tool to achieve and prove their excellence. It becomes the best instrument to depict their behavior, gain more skills, encourage their teams to deliver excellent projects etc.
Do remember communication includes verbal and non-verbal cues, both. For communication development some of the tips I could share with you, personally used, are:
Use more Nouns, Verbs, Adjectives, Adverbs, Exaggerated words, Noun phrases,
Connectives, Similes, Metaphors, Alliteration, Hyperboles, Onomatopoeias, Idioms, Personifications, Fables, Punctuation marks.
An individual’s communication skills and leadership skills, which are co-related, can distinguish and can mark the journey of one’s life achievements. When you are working on the above you will understand bit by bit that why Improving Communication Skills takes a lot than just talking.
1st myth that I want to clear is: “Good communication does not mean knowing the English Language!” Many people have a misconception that if I’ve learned English, I’ve also learned to communicate! Sorry! English is a ‘Language’ and communication is a ‘Skill’!
Two very different things. Even after learning good English, your communication can be pathetic. When required, you won’t be able to speak up! Right, and even if you know no language; god forbid, just imagine, one is born in Jungle itself. And he doesn’t know any language, he only knows body language.
Let there be 2 people in the jungle, person A’s body language will be different from Person B’s! Yes or No? You can try it right now!
If you have to ask for a pen from her, without using words. And this can be misinterpreted.One of them, if someone really badly needs a pen, he’ll be like (aggressive)! But is there a variation between the two or not, that’s what I’m asking! (Learning: Poor communication can be misinterpreted) Yes! So, coming back to the same point. Communication is an ‘art’ that can be learned, that can be developed! English is a language that can be learnt!
Now the problem is a mistake which most people make. They learn words from the dictionary, and they try to insert them wherever it is possible! Especially when we try to impress others, then we are more concerned about our vocabulary and how difficult it is.
Then your begins search for immensely strange and critical words, and use them in your sayings for demotivating others! So that other people will also be impressed that his communication, his English is very profound! This is a misconception!
You first need to develop the art! I would suggest learning the art of communication in your mother tongue. Making eye contact, body language, voice tonality, being proactive, these sort of things. To learn these, English is not required! Creating impact is to understand Why Improving Communication Skills is more important than English and not just speaking in English as a norm.
And side by side, if you want to improve your English. Keep it general! Keep a small notebook, in which you are putting down difficult words! Train your brain on multiple fronts. Increase your Reading! Are you reading at the moment? Are you writing at the moment?
Do you write on a daily basis? Not in the class, not notes, do you write something? If you are not reading if you are not writing, are you watching something? Are you watching other good communicators, on YouTube, or somewhere else, Are you? Yes? Are you listening to audio? The brain has so many ways to receive information, so why not use all of them!
Communication is an art, just like a muscle it can be developed. I don’t know who said this, but this is a famous quote which says.. Communication works for those, for those who work at it! If you work at communication, you will get better!
If you will work at improving your art of converting your ideas, do hard work, (you will succeed). I am gonna introduce you to a law, which not only in communication but in every field this law is applicable. It is called, ‘The law of paying the price.’
I don’t know if it’s coming from Jack Canfield or Brian Tracy, one of those two gentlemen, ‘the law of paying the price.’ Which simply stated means: If you want something, You must pay the price. Nothing is free. If you want something in life, you wanna wear a nice branded suit, you wanna go on a nice holiday, you wanna buy a nice camera or whatever. The things, whatever, the higher the quality, the higher the price you need to pay.
In improving life, money is not the only ball. Few people think they will achieve everything with money. Not gonna happen! I have observed this many times, there was a gym where I saw a very interesting scene. That evening, a big VIP person came to exercise. He was himself a little overweight but there were two bodyguards along with him. Very well built bodyguards, 6 feet 2 inches, with a pistol and everything, full drama. One attendant held his towel, the other held his protein shake. One another held the water bottle.
Okay, naturally, he would be some big-rich-influential personality’s son. But after doing all these things, he had to do his own ‘push-ups’. It doesn’t matter how rich or influential your father is, you cannot ‘pay’ someone else to do ‘push-ups’ for you! Right?
So, learn to do your own push-ups! This means, to develop the communication, efforts had to be put in. Without effort, there is no key, no guide, no shortcut, through which you can achieve it. It’s gonna take effort. It will take time. It will take hard work. But, here’s what you need, you need good role models. Like whom do you wish to learn to communicate? Listen to news reporters, journalists, people who are good politicians, people who are good at the art of communication. Politicians don’t mean that everyone would start their speech in the class with ‘brothers and sisters.
This Means you see how a person is influencing the crowd. Learn that art! That how any person is influencing the crowd, and how I can use it. This comes first, words come later! In fact, I don’t know if it is the Howard University study that says that words are only 7% of the entire communication from 1 person to the other.
Body language is huge, visual is huge, auditory is huge, your body posture, your tone of your sound, and so many things. They’re all combining together. So, if you determine in your heart, that I need to improve in this art because this will be very beneficial in the future. Now see, when you go into the work environment, you will have 100 different ideas. But if you cannot express them, what’s the point? Someone else will come, he knows to express well, his ideas will be heard, he will be appreciated, he will move ahead (in life). And then you’ll say (complaint), ‘his good luck was better!’ He is born lucky or something like that.
No, nonsense. He has developed a skill which you are slightly weak at and you can develop too. So, you need to remove this mental block. Nobody is born a good communicator. You’re gonna work at it And you can! It’s like a muscle, the more you use it, the better it gets. Raise your hand when you’re feeling nervous. You are in the big auditorium, some guest speaker has come in. I have done this! And at that time when, ‘any question?’ And instant silence in the entire hall. At that moment, you feel, I have it in my mind, should I ask or not, at that time. Raise Your Hand!
The first time I raised my hand, my brain sat down! So my hand went up, my brain went in shut down mode. Okay, I forgot my question. But still, be stubborn, raise your hand! By the time you do it, 3 or 4 or 5 times, ( you will make it) I think another gentleman had a question.
When I am talking to people, who are in positions of authority, high status of authority, then I am able to communicate with my same leveled people. But when I need to communicate with a senior person or the person of authority, then I face issues.
There is only one solution to overcome this issue. Talk to more people who are in positions of authority. The more you’ll get comfortable, you are likely to realize that they don’t bite! They are also people! And they also listen to the words, these are also normal human beings.
The more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll get. And that the only way, there is no shortcut around it. The best way is to make yourself uncomfortable. Put yourself into those situations, where you are feeling uncomfortable, and you will emerge victoriously. But if you’ll remain in your comfort zone, I have to do whatever I was doing always, then what will I receive? Yes?
I will do only, whatever I have always been doing. What will I get? I will get, the same, as I have been receiving! One of the definitions of insanity is, ‘do the same that you are doing as always, and every evening pray to the lord to change your destiny!’ It doesn’t happen this way!
Some poet has said it beautifully when.. ‘Lord has not changed the circumstances of that person, who is not concerned to change his own circumstances!’ Today, if you determine how to change your circumstances, in terms of improving your communication skills. Come to me, after 6 months, with your efforts, Let’s see where the results are. But without effort, nothing will be possible! Thank you!